WTF x 2 Ex brother in law withdraw?

Here is the scene as I type. I have pneumonia right lung is worse so I’m kinda feeling down and a little weak. This has never happened again and no disrespect to him but I never envisioned I couldn’t get him out of my head but out of my “Sargent pepper and the lonely hearts club band” dream (google it and you will get the idea) my ex brother in law made a guest appearance. Weird huh? Wellllllllllllllllllll it didn’t end there.

There wasn’t a time, from the beginning to the end, when my brother in law did anything but be a great brother to my ex.. Great uncle to my children. And he was always respectful to me and I’m sorry to him for the last year as I am to others.

I always respected bright quick intelligent minds. When I learned of his attending college and then opting to learn the Japanese language, then go live in japan, and then become a highly respected teacher who taught Americans the Japanese language which he was fluent in. I admired him. I should have told him that.

We all age and life becomes more reactionary as opposed to proactive. Not only that but when you start looking forward to the medical alert, free back brace, free neck brace, joint repair in a bottle, etc. one half an hour infomercials that begin in mass around midnight it hits you that… you are not the person you once were as you now qualify for discounts at movie theaters as opposed to being asked for an ID. AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Now, there have been time that I have thought of my ex brother in law and kept him in my prayers but seeing him in my dream in vivid color-rama, yeah I dream in colors and don’t you hate it when you have a great dream and you temporarily wake up and you want to go back to it but life smacks you with NO DICE. No going back to that dream, made it real. It brought back his expressions and voice. I started this blog as a positive outlet. I made a commitment that I would share what’s in my head, thoughts, or heart as it comes. That I would not sugar coat things about me and my prior and current life. Also, as anyone can attest who reads any of my blog posts I type exactly what I am thinking without a desire for grammatical correctness. So this semi-explains why I opted to write this specific blog. To those who don’t instantly get my sense of human I wan to say “HOW IN THE WORLD CAN YOU MISS THE GENIUS IN MY HILARIOUS WORDS/SENTENCES?”. Really?

Well I’m off to finish watching the end of the tv show “bringing up bates” as Tori  is getting married. I enjoy this show and the parents have done a great job raising their children. I am knowledgeable about this as I had the honor to have the best mother and father in law who are exceptional people individually and collectively, have been the GREATEST grandparents to my children, and in many ways I remain in awe of. I am very sorry to them for any/all pains/hurt and always will.

To my brother in law in my dreams I extend a hand and invitation to return to my dreams in the future but I will always remember that in this specific dream that we were in Hawaii – we rescued a few infinity stones (google it and yeah its funny) – we were internationally acknowledged – we were awarded an annual stipend of 100 billion dollars – we were gifted by the Pope with our own customized spaceships a technology they had for centuries but never shared before building ours – received the serum aka from the fountain of youth in giant 2 liter bottles – we worked together to stop the army of clowns riding on the backs of grizzly bears blowing streamers rushing towards us with bad intentions – and we went to a few bars and got wasted (I don’t drink but boy oh boy I did in this dream). Who wouldn’t want to continue this dream? So I am having ex brother in law withdraw syndrome and being 100% honest I wish him; the greatest happiness, the love of a good woman, success in his professional career, laughter, good health, and a long and happy life. He’s a good man.

Take care and may God bless you and yours with each breath.

 

 

Absentee words (March 2018 edition)

Absentee words? Oxymoronic I know but I’ll explain.

Back in the day there were words that were used/spoken that seldom are today and I know this because (1) I don’t hear them anymore and (2) my grandchildren are my speech police and they have been writing me “what do you mean/that’s not a word/I’ve never heard of that/Grandpa is that a real word…tickets?” more and more often.

Here are some that came to mind in no specific order; fine, gullet. for sure, banging (not the vulgar usage), homey, sneakers, dope, hello, welcome, fixin, supper, clouds a comin, daddy-o, belly, big red (the soda drink and I haven’t had a sip of it for decades but I hold on to hope…jealous?), catch ya later, natch, wobble, kickin it, sweatin (such as “why are you sweatin me?), wolf ticket, I’ll be seeing ya, howdy, youngster, mack daddy, bop (as in a place to dance), operator I’d like to make a call, cat (as in the slang to call someone), hep, boondoggle, burnt (as in you made a mistake or you were caught), random, four score (you know the rest courtesy of Abe Lincoln), gams (as in a womans legs), beef (as in a disagreement), handsome, get ya some, etc.

…to be continued

Thanks for visiting and as always my daughter, my family, and my children and theirs remain in my thoughts. My prayers. And in my heart and soul.

Take care and may God bless you and yours.

Your so young and beautiful…

This song, by a little-known singer named Elvis Presley (bada bing)s, has always been one of deep meaning for me. Not because Elvis recorded it during the height of his fame but because when he sang it, at the end of the movie standing hugging co-star Judy Tyler, it resonated with me. Even being that young at the time I knew, and maybe I was in some ways an “old soul”, that being young and beautiful was…fleeting. This combined with the knowledge that Judy Tyler, who was so beautiful and talented, got her first major acting role in Jailhouse Rock with Elvis but (sadly) she died in a car accident prior to Jailhouse Rock being released. Seeing her, in black and white, so vibrant – so fetching – so true to her character – and having that unique smile did not register that (sadly) this was her last time on screen. Last time on earth.

When Elvis received the news he was devastated. When he learned of the horrific nature that took her life he was beyond consolable. How could it be he thought? Wasn’t it just a few months ago he last saw her? Why? Elvis, who was always very sensitive and wore his emotions on his face and in his mood and in his physical appearance, took time away to grieve. He cried. He was always the one, dating back to childhood where he told his beloved mother Gladys Love (Smith) Presley that he would “take care of her” “buy her a big home”, etc., who was the fixed. The solver. The Comforter. The one providing a shoulder to cry on. The one who offered a support that transcended basic humanity and care. Though many have written about Elvis’ life with kudos to; Alanna Nash, Russ Howe, Billy Smith, Sandie Kaye Stevens, Larry Geller, Sandi Pichon, Martine Prizzo, Phil Arnold, etc. this loss hurt Elvis in a grief he bore throughout his life.

Young is usually defined pertaining to an age. A time period. Beautiful is usually defined by the visual. But, to me, I grew up with my Momaw (Mothers Mother) who was so young at heart and always kept moving she was a dynamo she was…young. She was also beautiful in spirit and her wants for her family and fellow man. I miss her. I miss her….so.

I have always thought without hesitation that every woman, and child, is beautiful. They radiate the essence of love. Of beauty. They are magnificent as God intended them to be. Now, I have had the honor to have dated and married women who were; smart, funny, beautiful, etc. To outsiders, they saw the physical beauty but to me, they were at their most beautiful without makeup. Wearing my t-shirt or sweats having just woken up. Or the serenity of their sleep.

I have a little girl who is growing up so fast. She is young and she is beautiful. I pray for and think of, her each day. Like my other children, I want the best for her and for her dreams to manifest into hard work, commitment, and achievement. They are all talented and bestowed with unique gifts that astound me. I love them so.

Thanks for visiting and please let others know about this blog, and my others, via social media.

Take care and may God bless you and yours… every day.

 

Jeff Schrembs

 

From Jailhouse Rock here is Elvis Presley with Judy Tyler. Enjoy.

Beats so lonely (one of my favorite but long lost songs of the 1980’s)

Courtesy of YouTube

Try playing it from the 1:20 minute mark to hear the vocals starting on the song. Man, I used to listen to this on cassette or 45 back in the day over and over. No one had even heard of him or his song but I caught it when scanning my cassette/radio in my car one day and the beat, vocals, and the rawness were worth listening to and I went out and bought the 45, cassette, and album.

Enjoy

Divinity or vicinity? by Jeff Schrembs

Divinity or vicinity? By Jeff Schrembs 2016 All Rights Reserved

Have you even awoken from a dream and had the feeling that either “it wasn’t a dream but a sign” or “it felt so real it stayed with you”? Ok then I’m alone on this?

Anyway I have had many of these dreams but the one I had recently kept making me think “divinity or vicinity” over and over and over and over. A man can only take so much so my (positive) outlet is via my blogs, websites, etc. so buckle up Suzie.

Since my divorce, which pains me 24/7 as it adversely affects my children and so many that I loved, of a marriage of 18+ years I have had to deal with a few medical issues including cancer. Cancer is no joke and my heart, prayers, and thoughts go out to those dealing with this terrible disease and to their loved ones and medical care providers. I bring this up with the context being that, as incredible as it may sound, the “damage” done to me (i.e. mentally, emotionally, physically, etc.) from the divorce versus the cancer is eerily similar in severity and I would prefer never having to have endured either one. But, I hold myself responsible for my part of the deterioration of the relationship along with knowing the adverse effects of the cancer, along with 2 other illnesses that were addressed years later but played a role in my actions, decimated much of my life. That is not to diminish the things I did that were hurtful, wrong, mean spirited, etc. Similar to some of the reoccurring dreams I have had over my lifetime the divorce, custody, and all of the ramifications haunt me as they should have for I should have done so much…differently and drastically.

Divinity or vicinity? Two distinct and powerful words.

Divinity, without going via Websters or Wikipedia, I affiliate with God/Jesus and their glory and holiness. Vicinity conjure up a geographical location and the proximity of one thing to another. We will have a test on this later.

I have been blessed, in many ways, and when it comes to dating/relationships (man, it’s been over 20 years so I don’t have a clue other than the first 3 decades of my life) did they begin due to “vicinity” or was it “divinity”?

I am old fashioned when it comes to this but I do believe that God puts those in our lives, who mutually falls in love and if they are really lucky share the same respect, sense of humor, basic beliefs, etc., thus I will take divinity as the reason. I qualify this by saying this divinity relates only to those serious relationships and your heart, and soul, know when you have found…”the one”.

To those who have found the one never take them for granted.

To those who have yet to find the one then change your approach including location because when you combine vicinity with divinity man you can have it all.

Take care and may God bless you.

Jeff Schrembs

 

 

cor contritum semper

Sometimes in life it is not the paths we take that benefits us most but the unexpected detours.

There are many “sayings” that I detest not only because they attempt to take a complicated situation and compress it into a one sentence sermon. Also I have lived through the complicated situations and the one sentence sermons are far from true, accurate, or beneficial. Here are some of my UN-favorites:

Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger – I’ve been through divorce, custody issues, leaving home at a young age, battling cancer, etc. This saying is flat out nonsense.

If you love it set it free. If it comes back it is meant to be – Well, well, well. This saying came to my attention in the form of a card I received from a relative pertaining to a relationship I had throughout high school. Something about this card, and these words. made my head hurt at the time and it is one of the WORST attempts at advice in the world.

Distance make the heart grow fonder (and some use the word stronger) – Really? Where is the data to back this up? Its a shame that so many of our life experiences have attempted to be summarized, or minimized, by a (no offense to this particular company but it was the first that came to mind) Hallmark card.

Time heals all wounds – AAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHH. If that was the case we would not need emergency rooms, doctors, or even bandaids. Time DOES NOT heal all wounds. Time adds scar tissue to wounds and many wounds can never be healed. I would like to meet the person who came up with this saying and let them know all of the things I have endured that time did not heal nor did time make it better. I hope she, or he, has a free decade to spare because this conversation is gonna be a long one.

Love means never having to say you are sorry? – Though the move Love Story, which was the first time I had ever heard of this expression, is a great movie that is part of the mosaic of my early years this saying is not based in reality. I say that because having to deal with cancer, and all the treatments/complications/setbacks/ordeals/etc, has afforded me (some) time to reflect – to make the best of it – to come to terms with major issues – and, besides the changes I have made, there are many people that I love that I wish I could have conversations with that would include my conveying I am sorry. I wish there was another word that had more depth that “I am sorry”.

A very wise woman once told me that “sorry means nothing if you don’t mean it and make the changes so it never happens again”. Well, I have put in the time, effort, commitment, sacrifices, etc. to make positive changes and whether I ever get the chance to verbally, and face to face, convey my sorrow does not deter me.

If you have thoughts about this post please feel free to use the comment section below.

Take care and may God bless you.

 

    Jeff Schrembs